Um. . .

So I just got back from my very last exam of my university career. I think it went okayish, nothing too exciting, although I did sneeze and it made the guy in front of me jump which made me laugh (silently of course). I'm relieved that it's out of the way now, but other than that I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel. I feel like I should be sad that it's all over now, or feel happy and hopeful for the future, but honestly I don't feel any different than I did this morning. Just now I can play The Sims without feeling guilty.

It's finished. I'm all finished with university, after four long years.

Now what?

Life Lessons

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

Sound, sound advice.

(P.S. Dodgeball is on)

Internet Memes

I feel like I've blogged loads this week but I really really haven't. Never mind, I'm here now. I've just watched Dr Who and I won't spoil it in case you haven't seen it, but let's just say my mind is officially blown. Touché, writers.

Anyway, I've got things on my mind, people. I love the internet. I love my blog, and I love reading other people's blogs; I love how easy it is to keep in touch with people through the likes of Facebook; I love internet shopping; I love Tumblr, and most of all, I love how many funny/cool/interesting websites are on the internet. However, I do not love internet phases (or memes) that are either taken too far, or that think they're funny when they are painfully unfunny. 

One of the biggest culprits currently making the rounds is "That awkward moment when..." followed by something which is supposed to be a funny awkward moment. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I seriously envy you. This 'phenomenon' has its own website, but I simply don't understand the popularity. Here's some examples, hand-picked by me from the website:
  • That awkward moment when the parents of the children you’re babysitting come home and find you sleeping on the couch.
  • That awkward moment when you slip while reading a “floor slippery when wet” sign. 
  • That awkward moment when you realize that Waldo is not the world champion at hide and seek. 
  • That awkward moment when you sit on the remote and think a ghost turned on the TV.
  • That awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and no one believes it was the chair, so you try to do it again but you can’t make the sound.
I think you get the point. The trouble with this craze is that when it started, there were actually a few funny ones around, and people were like, "Lol, it's funny 'cause it's true." But now, like with this website, people can submit their own, and they very rarely raise so much as a smile, or they're Mean Girls references. The thing is though, they're hardly ever even what I would consider an 'awkward moment'. Honestly, go and check for yourself. I mean, is this really funny to people? Am I losing my touch with popular culture? No, I don't think so. I just think it's stupid.

Another one is I think mainly Facebook orientated where they have all those groups you can 'like'. I think it's quietened down a bit now but it was everywhere for a while. I'm talking about the "Lol jk" jokes fad. For all you non-text speakers, here is the Urban Dictionary definition -
LOL, JK - The 'textual communication' version of "Laughing Out Loud, Just Kidding".
A lot of these were pretty sexist/racist or just generally offensive (if not for the content then just for the sheer unfunniness). Here's a couple just for reference:
  • I'd take a bullet for you...LOL jk that would hurt.
  • I'm studying for exams...LOL jk I'm on Facebook. 
  • It's not you, it's me...LOL jk, it's you. 
Again, you get the point. As I said, I think this one has pretty much died down now, but I brought it up because I saw one a couple of weeks ago which infuriated me.

I finish uni on the 18th May... LOL, jk, I do a real degree.

This page is filled with comments from people, and the crux of what they were saying is that if you do a degree where your exams are finished by the 18th May then your degree isn't viable. Most of the people commenting were engineering students, or medical students of some kind, and whilst I have the utmost respect for these professions, I find the sheer ignorance behind the individual statements astounding. For one, the students don't decide the exam and term dates, the Universities do, and so whilst May is early to finish, it by no accounts means that the work ethic is low among the students themselves. My exam is on the 31st May, but I reckon I'd still be counted in this group, because if it wasn't for the fact that I'm in my final year, I would've had a four month break. I think it's incredibly rude of people to belittle my degree choice just because it isn't one that translates into an obvious career path. And after all, if we all did engineering degrees then there'd be no demand for engineers thus rendering engineering obsolete as a degree choice. Bit of a rant, but it just annoys me that because some degree subjects finish for summer a lot earlier than say a medical degree, medical students think that they're the only ones doing anything worthwhile. (By the way, I realise not every single medical or engineering student thinks like this, I purely mean those who commented on this particular group.)

And breathe.

But yeah, back to my original point, 'Lol jk' jokes aren't funny, kay? There's so many more I could comment on but I think I'd just be going around in circles and then we'd be stuck in a neverending blog post. Which would be awful.


Song of the Day: Where The Road Meets The Sun by Matthew Perryman Jones and Katie Herzig 

And when the day comes I'll meet you here/'Cause I know that wishes come true/Finding my way back to you

I am a little bit concerned

Okay, so the rapture was supposed to happen on Saturday, and it never did so that's good news. Except that now I think it's happening. God can do whatever He likes I guess, He doesn't have to stick to a schedule. That's one of the perks of being God. He lulled us into a false sense of security, and now it's the end of the world. It's SO ridiculousy windy, and it's been raining really really heavily, but due to how windy it is, the rain is horizontal. Isn't this how it started for Noah and his Ark? Lots and lots of rain, and also (I'm guessing) wind? Maybe this is the beginning of the apocalypse. I am afraid to leave the flat because a) I'll get blown over, and b) I might get raptured by some Zombies or something. That's what the rapture is, right? Zombies? I thought so. 

So anyway, I need to go to Poundland to get some toothpaste and Fairyliquid and milk, but if it really is the end of the world, I guess the washing up can wait. I have instructed Daf to get them on his way back from his exam, so fingers crossed he doesn't get raptured. I shall want a cup of tea at some point.

Elsewhere in the life and times of Emma, I think my Dad has disowned me because I (and I quote) "publicly dissed" him in my last blog post. That's right, ladies and gents, my Dad says 'dissed'. No one says dissed anymore Dad, that is so five years ago.

Hopefully you will be hearing from me again, dear reader, but in the mean time, I'm off to find someone with an Ark.


Song of the Day: The Science of Selling Yourself Short by Less Than Jake
I'm so far gone/That deep down inside I think it's fine by me/That I'm my own worst enemy

I have received an official complaint . . .

My father has complained about the black background - apparently the white writing hurt his eyes, so I've changed it because I'm SUCH a good daughter. So I hope he's happy now. There's always one who ruins it for everyone, isn't there? 
This is how I feel about having to change my background. Minus the Christmas cracker hat. Never mind, I've made it a little bit pinky-purpley, so I'm still rebelling against the plain white background. Anti-establishment, yeah!

No song today because I can't be bothered. Until next time.

Guess what?

I went ahead and pimped my blog, that's what. Initially I was just experimenting with the title font and colour, but then I decided to see what it looked like with a black background. I thought I was going to hate it but actually I kind of love it, so IT'S STAYING. For now.

In other news, hey, we're still here! Of course, there's still just under 6 hours left of today, but I would've thought the rapture would have been here by now if it was coming. All in all, a very mundane Saturday. Oh well, only half an hour until Dr Who is on. Man, I would have been gutted if the rapture interfered with regular scheduled programming.


Song of the Day: Keep It Together by Guster
Keep it together/Can we keep it together/We're singing a new song now/And everything starts today

Have you heard?

The rapture is coming tomorrow. So that's a bit of a pain.


Song of the Day: It's The End of the World As We Know It by R.E.M.
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed/Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right - right/You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched

Graduation fears

With my dissertation in and only one exam to revise for, my thoughts have drifted to my graduation. I've been wondering what to wear both clothes-wise and shoes-wise, and also complaining about how much it costs to hire a gown, and why can't the university pay for it, blah blah blah, etc. Among these thoughts is a genuine concern about graduation photographs. My parents will undoubtedly want a nice shot of me with my degree certificate, but I have a real difficulty of looking....well, let's just say 'normal' in photographs.

The problem is, whenever anyone points a camera at me, I automatically give a thumbs up and my face does this:

I do this so often that it has become known as the 'classic' Emma pose, and my friends even do it with me now. (By friends, I pretty much just mean Soph):

Daf even does it:

But shhhh, don't tell him I put this on my blog.

My friend Lydia even did a 'classic Emma' on her wedding day - a very proud moment for me.

Anyway, the point to all of this is that my face is ridiculous and I'm going to look like a crazy fool when I graduate. There are plenty more examples of these photos by the way, I just think that you've seen more than enough of my face for one day.

Just before I go, click this link - you won't regret it, it has made my day.

Song of the Day: You Only Live Once by The Strokes
Sit me down/Shut me up/I'll calm down and I'll get along with you

5 Complaints of the Day

1. I overslept and forgot it was bin day so when I woke up and remembered, I had to rush downstairs with the heavy recycling bag. I made it in the nick of time, the bin-men went past just as I went back inside, but still, it was an annoyingly stressful start to my morning (not that taking out bin-bags is stressful, but my brain wasn't functioning yet.)

2. I went to the library to get some books out for revision purposes, and the one I needed the most wasn't there, even though I checked the system and it said it was in the library. I hate it when things aren't where they're supposed to be.

3. This advert for Diet Coke:

There are so many things about this advert that annoy me. Firstly, the idea that you'd buy a handbag just to put a can in it is absurd. Just drink it. Secondly, why does she need a bag so small that only a can of coke can fit inside it? Is that really all she needs on her? No phone, no keys, no money? It's alright, she's got a Diet Coke, she is prepared for any possible situation. Thirdly, why are her friends carrying around a chainsaw and a blowtorch? And finally, the fact that after using said chainsaw to desecrate the 'too big' bag in order to make it small enough for her can, she has the audacity to say to the naturally horrified salesman - "You should lighten up!" Then she walks out with her mates without even paying. What a bitch.

I really hate that advert.

4. The 'j' button on my laptop is playing up so I have to press it extra hard.

5. I've twisted funny or something and now it feels like I've dislocated my hip. Fantastic, I'm a 90 year old lady.


Song of the Day: A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz
Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write/Kind of turn themselves into knives/And don't mind my nerve, you could call it fiction/But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear

The Song of the Day

Here's yesterday's Eurovision song of the day, Running Scared by Ell and Nikki. Well done Azerbaijan. What a terrible song.

And here's Moldova's INCREDIBLE entry. Unlucky Moldova, maybe next year.

Eurovision, prizes and birthdays

Oh Eurovision, I can't help but watch you. 

It's pretty terrible most of the time, although there are one or two hidden gems (Jedward are so well suited to Eurovision - it's the hair, along with the unstoppable enthusiasm). Russia are on at the minute and the backing dancers are HILARIOUS. I think I'll wait until Blue have been on, then I'll try and tear myself away.

I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but I won a years worth of credit from O2 because I topped up between certain dates and my phone number was picked - although a years worth in this case is equal to £150. I was told that they were going to send me vouchers, so I assumed I would be able to top up as and when I needed to. However, yesterday O2 sent me a text saying my account would shortly be credited, and after sending a text this morning I was informed that my balance was now £156.79 - quite a lot of credit to have on your phone at once. I'm not complaining (well, I'm trying not to) because free credit is free credit after all, but I can't say I like having the credit all in one lump like that. Never mind, I shall just be careful with it.

In other news, my big brother turned 25 today, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES! You are OLD.


Song of the Day: Whatever wins Eurovision. I'll let you know. I hope it's Moldova.

Books and water and Grey's Anatomy

In celebration of finishing my dissertation, I went out and bought myself a few books to read recreationally. They are all Stephen King books, because I've never read any before and they were 3 for 2 in Waterstones. I got Carrie, The Shining, and Dreamcatcher. I also went to Smiths and bought It because they didn't have it in Waterstones and it was actually the one I most wanted to read. 

I've read Carrie now, it was the shortest so I figured I'd start with that one, and I think I enjoyed it. It's a weird book, but well written as I really wanted to know what was going to happen, but at the same time I was dreading it. No easy feat so well played, Stephen. I've now moved onto It. I haven't got very far yet but I'm wondering if it was the best idea. Like a lot of people, I'm not particularly fond of clowns. I don't have a phobia or anything, but there's just something about a painted on smile which is incredibly sinister. I have a feeling that It might turn my simple aversion to clowns into an inherent fear.  

Whilst looking for a creepy clown photo I found this list of creepy clowns, where the above photo was found, which is actually from the movie version of It I think.

Anyway, I've had to put the reading of It on hold, as Daf has inadvertantly knocked a glass of water all over it. He dried it off with my hairdryer and it's now sitting underneath a pile of textbooks in an effort to flatten it down. It was only an accident so I'm not mad, but Daf has a habit of pouring water all over my stuff . In our first year of university it was my brand new laptop which was the unassuming victim, and I spent a very nervous half an hour wondering what I was going to tell my parents whilst a techno-savvy friend tried to fix it. Luckily, he did fix it, but it wasn't the last time Daf accidentally watered down my belongings. I'm beginning to wonder whether he has an unconscious wish to destroy of all my possessions.

As well as reading, I've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy before I get myself into a heavy revision routine. I really like it, but something devastatingly sad happens in nearly every single episode. It's exhausting. Also, a lot of really bad things happen to the characters, they're always nearly dying or something. It's ridiculous that these poor people should be plagued by such terrible misfortune. No matter what happens in the future, at least my life will never be as depressing as theirs.


Song of the Day: Traffic Jam by Vega4
All I want is someone to pull me out/I'm stuck in a traffic jam/With nowhere to run for miles


OK, apparently my Mum got confused with Alfred the Great, who was English, so Alexander the Great was, in fact, Greek.

This is now beyond ridiculous.


My Mum's just told me that Alexander the Great was English? WIKIPEDIA NEVER SAID THAT! My review is flawed, deepest apologies.

Alexander: A Review

The night that I stayed up until 4am doing last minute dissertation related things, Alexander the movie about Alexander the Great was on acting as my background noise. I had several problems with this movie that I am going to share with you. Without further ado, here is my review of Alexander.
*Disclaimer: As I was paying very little attention, this review will be wholly inaccurate because I actually have no idea what the plot was - from what I can gather, there's some fighting and a lot of Colin Farrell being really weird.*

  • First of all, Angelina Jolie playing Colin Farrell's mother is the most ridiculous casting ever, plus it didn't look like much effort had been made to make her look older.
  • Second, wasn't Alexander the Great Greek, and not Irish? I know that Colin Farrell is Irish, but maybe a neutral accent could have been used or something. Plus Angelina was trying to do a Greek accent (I think that's what it was at least), so it all just sounded very odd. Bit of consistency would have been nice.
  • I think there might have been incesty (is that a word) undertones between Alexander and his mum. Which is always weird.
  • Anthony Hopkins narrating the film just made me think of The Grinch.
  • Why does no one in Greece look Greek?
  • Finally, it's like 3 hours long or something. If you want to watch a 3 hour film, I'd suggest Titanic, or one of The Lord of the Rings films.   

I was also going to complain about the fact that Alexander was blond, but Wikipedia tells me that he was, in fact, blond and of a pale complexion. See, I do my research.
Here concludes my Alexander review. Next week: Troy

(I'm only joking. I probably won't review Troy. Also, I'm aware that this by no means constitutes a 'review' so if you're genuinely interested in a review of Alexander, this probably won't help you and I suggest you look elsewhere.)

Song of the Day: Rumour Has It by Adele
She made your heart melt/But you're cold to the core/Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore

I don't even know what day it is anymore

My dissertation is currently in the library being bound, all that is left for me to do is pick it up tomorrow morning and then hand it in. So you're getting a blog post a day earlier than I thought, you lucky, lucky devils!

I had all these great intentions of having my dissertation finished well in advance so that I could save myself running around last minute trying to get the last bits and pieces together. Of course, that is so much easier said than done. I didn't go to bed until 4 this morning, got up at 8 and went straight to the library. I scanned everything I needed into my dissertation, added a few extra words, and faffed around for ages sorting out my Appendices, which I no longer care about because I have lost the will to live.
Not really. I am exhausted though, I don't even feel up to celebrating I'm that tired. I spent six hours straight in the library putting the finishing touches to everything and I didn't even have any breakfast. I rang Daf from the library because I realised I'd forgotten an important document which I needed, so he brought it up for me like the nice guy he is. When he got there, I mentioned how hungry I was, so he said he'd go and get me something to eat.

Daf: What do you want me to get?
Me: *shrugs*...a chocolate bar?
Daf: I was going to suggest a sandwich*.
Me: I'd prefer a chocolate bar.
Daf: Do you want some crisps, or-
Me: Get me a chocolate bar.

Don't judge me, you can totally have chocolate for breakfast.

Anyway, after about 4,ooo years, I was about as happy as I was going to get with it and printed it off then handed it into the binding lady, who told me to come and pick it up tomorrow. I went back to the flat, had a shower, put on my pyjamas and checked my email. To my surprise, I had an email from the library telling me that I left my purse there and could I come and collect it from the enquiries desk. I didn't even realise I'd left it - it has my debit card and drivers license in it, not to mention about £25. Thank goodness someone nice found it or I'd be feeling pretty stupid right about now (or at least more stupid than I do already). Needless to say, I coerced Daf into taking me back up to the library to pick up my purse, and all is right with the universe again.

I'll see you when my brain works again.


Song of the Day: Blame it on the Alcohol - the Glee Cast version

*I had to google how to spell sandwich. That's how tired I am.
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